Tuesday, May 22, 2007

So I had my first WI on maintenance today and I'm DOWN 2.4 lbs! I had a really, really warped week. The worst I've had on WW so far. I was SO incredibly stressed about switching to maintenace. I can't even begin to explain the mind trip I went through. I was SO resisitant to stopping the losing process. I feel kind of ripped off. Yes I should be happy, I've lost a ton of weight. BUT, this is not what I expected to look like. I am definitely going to need some plastic surgery (tummy tuck and breast lift), and I fully plan on having both procedures done. I think I will maintain my weight for 3/4 - 1yr first though, let my skin snap back as much as it will. I also feel a little sad that my journey is over, I really enjoy losing weight. Heck, I'm good at it! Anyways, because I was so stressed out, there were actually two days this week that I didn't eat all my daily points. I was 12 pts short one day, and 15 the next. I just couldn't eat. I was too upset, and had no appetite. I've only ever shorted myself in points ONCE before, and it was only 2 pts because I accidentally fell asleep early one night. This is not the norm for me, I am very strict about eating ALL my points. I smartened up for the next two days after that and ate the way I should. Then this weekend was my birthday, my anniversary, my sons birthday, and my Dad's birthday. I had 2 different set of company staying at my house. There was ALOT of eating out, and cake. I didn't count points at all, so I have no idea if I went over or not. I for sure used all my flex. I was SHOCKED when I stood on the scale this morning and it showed a loss. I thought for sure all that birthday cake, wine, and restaurant food would make me gain BUT IT DIDN'T! Somehow dropping 2.4 more lbs made me feel a bit more comfortable with my weight. Now when my weight fluctuates it should hopefully stay in the 140's. I'd like to stay right at this weight now. I guess we'll see what happens this week. I'm going to continue with adding the 4 maintenace pts even though I showed a loss. My week was so screwy I think I need to give my body a chance to level out before I go adding or subtracting anymore points.


Anonymous said...

Hi Babe
I had no idea you were going through so much mental struggle with the maintenance part.
I knew you thought it was hard, but reading your post made me realize that it's nearly a grieving process.
I agree that you should let your body get used to this change. You kicked its ass this past year. I'm sure you'll stay in the 140s, and even IF you would reach the 150s, you'll only have to exercise a bit and you'll drop down again.
I think that with time, you'll become less paranoid with the NUMBERS (weight) and just enjoy your fit body regardless of the exact weight.
It's a shame that you're not satisfied with your general appearance, but I can understand. I'm also glad you realize that loosing more weight won't help that, it's loose skin that would need plastic surgery, I think actually loosing more weight would accentuate the loose skin.
I for one think that you're at your perfect weight.
As for me, I tried reaching the 130s, but my damn body will NOT budge from 140 lbs. It really will NOT. It's been like that for ages.
I think it must be my healthy weight.
So like I told you, I'll focus on tightening up that belly and I'll be fine.
You know a funny thing, I don't want to be super skinny again because I wouldn't be comfortable for Ian (when he snuggles on me). A mom needs some curves, that's just the way it is.

Well congrats on starting maintenance and I am positive that it'll grow on you and you'll learn to appreciate it. It's only normal that you find it hard and you hate it.


Jaime said...

I think a lot of us can identify with what you've said here. I didn't lose nearly as much weight as you did, but the minute I went beyond my goal I swear I started sabotaging myself so I could go back to the losing part.

Keep up the good work and enjoy yourself. You were awesomely good at losing and you will be just as good at maintaining!!!

Paige said...

Hey There
Congrats on the loss again but I am sad that you feel upset about the process of losing coming to an end. Is there something you can do to get that same feeling? Would you ever be a ww leader?

Anonymous said...

Hey Shrunk, I think you are at the perfect weight now. You look great! Losing more weight might make the loose skin thing worse. You have lost an amazing amount and if anyone can conquer this maintaining stage, it would be you! Keep up the good work and Happy birthday to you and yours!